Therapy – it’s not for me!

Challenging misconceptions around therapy.

Therapy has a different meaning to everyone. There are many who have benefitted from great therapy, others that have had a negative experience and those that remain sceptical. I have come across many comments as a therapist, both positive and negative, and much of these comments come from a lack of understanding about therapy. Let me try and explain some of those misconceptions.

My therapist should “fix me”.

Remember, you are not a machine with faulty parts; you are not broken. I, as a therapist, cannot “fix you”. Therapy is not about fixing it is about exploration. We work together collaboratively to help you build a toolbox of skills to navigate your way forward in a more effective way. It is about investing in yourself. It works if you are ready to put the effort in and remain open to the process. It is not simply turning up for an hour’s session and voila life is suddenly rosy. It is leaving the session and implementing change into your everyday life, working out what works for you and what does not – revisiting this with your therapist at the following session.

Therapy is just a chat.

As much as I like a chat this is not my role as your therapist. My role is to help you on your road to self-discovery. It may be messy, painful at times, you may be afraid to go to certain places. I will be there to support you on this journey. You don’t have to feel shame about feeling pain and needing to acknowledge the feelings that go alongside this trauma. We are taught to “get over it”, “man up”, “stop dwelling on the past”. The problem is that this just buries everything and can lead to further issues, and you feel unheard.

Are you with the right therapist?

The most important aspect of therapy is the client/therapist relationship. You need to feel comfortable, heard and understood. It is important to have a good rapport. You should feel good at the end of your sessions even if it has been emotional and challenging. Your therapist should be professional and focused on you. A good therapist will also have the insight to refer you to another therapist if they feel they are not the right person for you. There are many specialities and to get the most out of your journey you need the relationship and the expertise.

My therapy is not confidential.

Yes, it is you sign an informed consent prior to therapy, and this states that confidentiality is only broken if there are safeguarding issues. Even then this will be discussed with you in a sensitive and thoughtful way. We have a little joke in my house when anyone asks how’s work my stock answer is – fine, good or difficult, always a one-word answer. No-one gets anything more. Your story is yours and I have been asked to protect it and protect it I will.

Therapy is for “crazy people”

No this is simply wrong, and my answer would be “what’s crazy?”. Therapy is a journey of self-discovery, it’s about knowing yourself better and building resilience. Allowing yourself to navigate life in a more meaningful way.

Therapy takes a long time

A question I am often asked is: How many sessions will I need? My answer is I can’t answer that question. What I can say is we will review at every couple of sessions. I am a strong believer that you know when you are ready. I rely on you to communicate with me and let me know. This is not a “one size fits all” journey. Not everyone needs to be in therapy for years – effective therapy can take 6-12 weeks depending on the issue. Others need longer 6-12 months plus.

These are a few of the misconceptions surrounding therapy. Another revealer may be that good therapists engage in their own therapy – this helps them to help you.

"I’m on a constant path of self-discovery and change. I’m trying to become a better person, a nicer person. I love therapy – it’s brilliant." Julia Sawalha

"Therapy is a gift. It is a chance to finally be heard, understood and supported." Bessel Van Der Kolk